Monday, May 14, 2012

Ok so its been a few days again **sry**  Ive been having a hard time coping with my anxiety and depression on top of dealing with Gary's depression and moodiness. Today I just broke down and told him he either needed to see his dr about it or move to his moms cause I couldn't deal with it anymore. I'm not sure if it did any good, but it sure helped getting it all out there.

Im going to start planning the baby shower soon, and even a registry. Its guna be fun to pick out baby stuff  ^_^ I still dont know how things are going to go after Lauren is born. Claire told me she assumed it would happen like it did with luke. Not sure how that would work because when Luke was born he went into foster care for a month before any papers were signed because his biodad was trying to fight me for custody of him. I don't know how long they will be staying in town after she is born. If they plan on staying in town while her and i are in the hospital. By louisiana law no papers can be signed for five days after the baby is born. We will have papers set up so that Lawrence will be on the birth certificate as Lauren's father so there wont be any problem with that end. But its still confusing and frustrating not knowing how things are going to go. Hopefully we will talk about it soon so i wont stress about it anymore. Ill keep you updated >.<

Thursday, May 10, 2012

let the planning begin!

So today I got the ok from Claire about the baby shower. I am so excited to finally have something to plan. It feels so weird being pregnant, and know that there is a baby coming, but have nothing to plan, organize, or get ready for!!! Well today I was able to set the date for Mine and Claire's baby shower. I have asked around to my group of moms in my play group about if any of them would like to help me celebrate and they have all been really great. Claire didn't think anyone would want to come because they don't know her, but as one of my friends said today Lauren is apart of who I am and they want to celebrate her <3 Not sure just yet what I'm going to do *ie theme, games, ect* but I'm sure I will come up with something. lol. Claire wants me to register for her at target, and I think that I will, but send her all the info so she can look over it online and make sure everything on it is stuff she would want. and that way she can add to it. I know my showers were something I cherish and I really want her to be able to experience it too <3  Its supper late and I really need some rest so that's all for now.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Day two, im on a roll

Ok so had a busy day scheduled today. We ended up skipping TinyTown this morning since Lillyanna is still coughing pretty bad. Yeah, the dr says its just allergies but I don't want to chance getting a lot of other kids sick >.< Eliza did well at her ECE testing. We wont know until early July if she was accepted and what teacher she will have. Its a wonderful waiting game *smh*

We did go to the park though. Against my better judgment i let the girls play in the water, but they loved it. Met up with Hilary, Thi, Kirah, Kristine, and Kirrah then after went to Chick-Fil-A for kids night. It was a good day <3


Monday, May 7, 2012

Just a regular day

Nothing interesting to post today.

I was up most of last night with Lillyanna cause she couldn't stop coughing. felt so bad for her, but nothing I tried worked. Took her to the Ped today and they said its just a cold, that her chest sounded nice and clear and the couching was from post-nasal-drip. We did, however, discover that she had a pretty nasty ear infection in her right ear. Seems that's the only ear that gets infected. Wonder if is has anything to do with her cleft having been on that side. Ill make sure to ask her cleft dr when we see him at the end of the month.

After her apt we just came home and hung out till around five. Mom was just getting off work so we met up with her and dad at Captian D's for some half price fish dinners *gary showed up a little after we got our food. as usual, you say food an he comes running lol*  Those girls eat almost an entire dinner on their own! They love eating fish, that's for sure. After dinner I paid the electric bill at kroger, only to find out to pay the gas bill you have to have the actual bill. hugh, who knew. Next month im just going to send a check once i get the mail. No more running around or paying extra fees. Added all up, to pay my bills this month there were almost $10 just in fees to pay! blah. Got done with that, picked up a book for gary he had ordered then headed home.

As we drove on our street the girls saw our neighbors outside and started asking to walk down and see them. Even though it was already 7:30 i figured why not. Ended up having a very nice visit and getting back to the house an hour latter. Then, lol, since we were still out, and the girls had been playing and all, we went to sonic for half price milk shakes *after 8pm* It took forever cause their system went down and they had to reprint all the recepts to make the food. Finally got home around 9, got the girls a bath and they were in bed by 10. 

Now its 12 am, im sweating hot even thought the thermostat says 74, there is a good size thunderstorm going on outside, and i cant sleep a wink. Gotta be up at 8:30 to get the girls ready for TinyTown, then Eliza has ECE testing at 12:30. I so hope she does well, but not to well that they dont accept her into the program. blah, its hard trying to teach her new things only knowing i might be setting her up to be to advanced to where she cant go to preschool. Guess I will find out tomorrow. Hope I can get some sleep cause im guna need it!!!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Back . .. . .. again lol

OK, so I fell off the wagon. .. . .. again. Time to get back up and give this another go.

So quick update. Little baby is a girl and her name is going to be Laurene Claire. Big brother Luke was so excited when we told him he was finally getting a brother or sister *we told him just before our gender ultrasound* and was even more excited when it was a sister! I am 22+5wks and she is really active and you can feel her moving flipping, and kicking by putting your hand on my big belly lol. Im guna add some back dated posts with pictures and stuff when i get time, but for now this is where we are.



P.S. I got this picture today. <3

Thursday, March 1, 2012

.

You know when you have no one to talk to because the one thing you want to vent about involves someone who all your friends are friends with. Yeah it suck and feels lonely.

Dr apt in the am to check my pressures. Hopefully all is well. Gn world, I see a restless night ahead of me.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Wow, 4 days since my last entry, I'm starting to slack again >.<  Im with the Rath's again today. Talkin to IP more today, sigh. texting can be so great, but terrible at the same time. Things can be taken so out of context ~.~ Guna have to do some major re-con clean up this evening. Ill let you know how it goes.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The comforts of technology

I'm posting tonight on my iPod from my bed. Crazy how we can do so much these days. Especially since I heard the other day that the computer in the first manned space shuttle and moon walk was less complex then my cell! Crazy if you ask me.

Well the reason I'm lazily in bed typing this on my iPod is because the morning sickness fairy visited me this morning. I'll try and remember tomorrow what I should have posted tonight but I'm to drained. Gn people's

Monday, January 9, 2012

Bitter sweet

Had dinner tonight with the Rath Family. It was bitter sweet since Mr. Rath will be leaving early in the AM to finish his tour in Korea. We all seemed to have a good time though. 
They really love their Mr. Robert and I know they will miss him.

While we were at logans we ran into my parents. Who, being themselves, paid for our entire dinner. 
After everyone else left, mom and dad joined me and the girls to BaskinRobins for some dessert. Its been a good while since the girls have seen my parents ok so its been since christmas but for us thats a while. My mom doesnt even know that im pregnant >.< I figured i would tel her when she came to see the girls, which she hasnt. So its either she comes and sees them and finds out or she will find out like the rest of the world when i announce it on FB after my first apt. Either way, i made a "cover" for my FB ^_^Im kinda proud of it.
 This will be at the top of my Fb ^_^

Im guna call it a night. I know this post was kinda lame, but it is what it is.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Not much for today

So today really was just a lazy day. Yet another night with little sleep. I was beginning to wonder if sleeplessness was going to be my only symptom this pregnancy. But never fear, looks like I have a lot ahead. I still haven't had any type of morning sickness which is a blessing but was starting to worry me. Until this morning when I went to get dressed and my bra didn't fit lol. My, Uhm, bosom has grown and is also pretty sore. I'm counting down to my first ob appt. I'll feel much better when I finally get to see the little bean and know for sure all is well.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

So today started off with the Rath boys <3 All was good. Made pigs in a blanket for lunch and we had a good ole time just playin. They got a new pet rat Penny that the kids are just awestruck buy her.
I kept having to refocus on other things. Poor thing started getting scared.
But i was finally able to get them to start playin and they did really well. only a few minor spats. 
 I found my little book worm surounded by books. <3 
Im happy she shares her mommas love of books.
Then Eliza "sat pretty" for Mrs. Frankie to french braid her hair.

When Frankie and Robert came back home they had the brought back their lunch. Burger, fries, and bread pudding from a local place called Papa & Company. I dont think ive mentioned it, but the one thing ive been wanting/craving has been cheese burgers. Well this place has the BEST burgers.

 When I first opened the box, here is what I found when I opend the box ^_^ 
But its nothing to what was underneath the wrapper!!


Isnt that just an amazing, huge burger!!
But wait, theres still the bread pudding!

It was probably so bad for my  all that butter! but it was sooo good. 
Now I only had two pieces, but those were enough ^_^

Ok so I slacked

Yes yes I know. There where no words yesterday. Why? Cause really nothing happened. Just another boring day. I'm watching the Rath boys right now so maybe I'll have something interesting to post tonight ^_^


Rewind! 
So after goin through my phone today I realized we did do something yesterday. Since Gary got paid we went out as a fam to pay bills yay. First it was off to the Bx for some lunch, where I indulged in a Starbucks *which arent that bad, they only have 75g of caffeine and I'm allowed like 500g a day* Of course gary got his usual White chocolate frapachino while I got my Mocha Frap ^_^ The SB ladies love the girls so much they made up little testers of what was left in the blinder.

 They seem to be pleased, dont you think?

We went on to finish up our bill payin for the day then off to home. I finally bought a new calendar, yes i know its about time right? Well I found one I liked and got it up. I also put together a list of important numbers up. Mainly cause if for whatever reason my hubs needs to make the girls an appt or i dont have my phone with the numbers in it we can call who we need to.

What you think?


My nieces birthday just past *yes i know im a bad aunt* but i bought her a card almost a month ago. Since Eliza has started writing her name she insisted on signing it herself. Love my big little girl <3  Ok so that was it for yesterday, besides only getting a whole total of 4 hours of sleep >.<

Thursday, January 5, 2012

when will things get better

I feel like im suffocating in this house. I cant cook, because the kitchen is always over ran by bugs and strange smells. not to mention all kinds of nasty stuff left out all the time. >.< We have lived off plastic plates and microwave everything for almost a year now and I just cant wont take it anymore. At this point, I don't care if we are in a good school district, or if Eliza will even they have a preschool *which tells you how desperate I am* Went driving around lookin for rentals tonight and ended up with a big blow out fight. Not sure whats goin on with gary but he really needs to snap out of it. Ive done all i can to make him feel better and bring him out of whatever deep dark place he is in, but until he decides he wants help and decides he wants to get out of it there is nothing i can really do.

In the mean time, today went as usual. Got up with the girls and made them breakfast even though i dont consider cereal a breakfast for a 2yo and 3yo but as i said, no where to cook. Headed over to Shreveport around noon to meet up with a friend before Lillyanna had speech therapy. After that back home. yay for my exciting eventful life. Girls are just about to finish up their supper meat and cheese sandwiches with mixed fruit then its bed time. Hopefully I will be able to get some sleep tonight.

ugh frustrating

ok so i know i need to do something with the layout of this blog but have no clue where to start or what i even want. guess it'll be trial an error till i either find someone who can help or five years from now when i finally get it right and no one is writing blogs anymore

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Interesting day

Ok, so here is day 2 of my blog. Im going to try really hard to stick with this. I have tried before with blogging, journaling, heck, I haven't even been able to keep a food diary. but here we go

Yesterday marked 5wks in my suro journey. all is normal and good, first apt coming up on the 19. it seems like forever far, but im sure it will be here before i know it. I haven't had any negative symptoms yet like morning sickness  but my energy level is defiantly down. I have a harder time falling asleep and staying asleep, which makes my being tired all that much worse. Im trying to not let it affect my schedule with the the girls to much but its getting hard.Hopefully we will be able to move when we get our taxes in and i can get better organized and set up some homeschooling for the girls. I would so love to do it but its just so crazy here >.<

Oh, and for some reason, every night this past week I have woken up at 4am exactly 4am and been just starving! I get up, go pee, and go get a big glass of water *another thing I never did before, have to pee like three times at night* but my stomach fights with me cause it wants food, not water. lol. but there is no way im going to get into the habit of waking at 4am every morning.

Well last night I didnt sleep well , go figure. And this morning gary the hubs tried to let me sleep in but the girls were just being to loud. had lunch at CickFilA with a fellow prego who runs a in home day care. so she had five kids with her lol Other then that, had a quiet afternoon at home. actually took a nap from like 2 till almost 4:30 yay then got ready for our ladies night *karaoke at the Blind Tiger*. Had a great time and didn't get home till like 12am. lol. no big cause even when I go to bed at like 10 or even 8 I lay in bed awake till 12 anyway.

Oh, and I got to talk to text with the little beans future momma some today. Its great getting to talk text with her. Im hoping one day we will be bffs. I feel like shes family <3 So if little bean is a girl her names guna be Laurene and shes already buying her clothes lol. don't blame her though, this kid is probably guna have two set of completely different wardrobes. Im tryin to talk her into her havin a baby shower some time in august, I would so for her to have one. its something every  new mom should experience.  

Which reminds me, I need to start planning Eliza's 4th birthday party. Cant believe my little girl is almost four </3 Looks like im guna be spending more time on Pinterest looking up ideas and inspiration for a Hello Kitty 4th birthday party. wish me luck. For now im signing out cause tomorrow is guna be another busy therapy day.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Blog 1, Day 2094

Whats this all about? 

Well, it all started 2094 days ago 5 years, 8 months, 24 days. Now most women cherish first time mother hood, have a ton if pictures of them pregnant, plan the nursery and discuss baby names with their partner, and all in all enter motherhood in the normal way. Well, as you will find, nothing I do is in any way normal. You see, all those years ago, when a wonderful little boy came into this world, a  not so sure 16yo girl knew she had to make a hard choice. She knew that with only a half a year of 9th grade education, little to no family support, and no home to go to, her child needed more. So she made a plan, an adoption plan. She hand picked a family to raise her son, a couple that she herself would be proud to call family, and with one heavy step in front of the other, with every sorrowful heartbeat she began her journey of motherhood. Not as a mommy, but as a birthmother.

Fast forward 677 days 1 year, 10 months, 6 days. On a dark rainy morning, she was blessed with her husband at her side with her first daughter. Hearing mommy from a little mouth, watching as she grew brought joy to her heart, as well as pain. So many things she had missed that she was now experiencing. You can turn back time, and there is no pause or record. 501 days 1 year, 4 months, 15 days latter she welcomed a new daughter into the world. Who knew you can love someone so much, then love even more? 

Forward again 916 days 2 years, 6 months, 2 days. So much has happened that it would take another life time to tell. I was that scared, unsure 16 year old girl. I have been birthmother, wife, mother and soon to be surrogate mother. But now I am confident, sure, witty, hard headed, stubborn, right, and yes sometimes wrong. This is me, take it or leave it.